I’ve begun to realize more and more that my peers seem to have this idea that I’m really stupid. I’m not saying this because I have a habit of being self depreciating or even self conscious. People treat me like I’m a bonafide idiot and to be completely honest, I’m not okay with that. I’m not an “angry girl” as the song goes, I’m just confused. Why do people think its okay to make comments about what happens inside of my head?
I’m always looked down upon by the kids in my school as just “quirky”. When it comes to boys, they don’t think of me as anything more than their personal Manic Pixie Dream Girl, minus the sex, just the “totally quirky” nature I seem to have. I’m actually not even sure what it means to be quirky. Maybe if understood what it meant to be quirky then I would understand. Then I would be like totally free spirited and kinda stupid, the kind that inspires men because I’m like totally not cookie cutter. But I would be like super cute! I would be like their stepping stone to serious relationships. I’m their test dummy, don’t mind me, I’m just a prototype. You can play with my limbs, it’s okay, they’re fake I don’t care.
I’m confused why I’m always the quirky sidekick to my brilliant classmates. I’m not in the classes I’m in to make any sort of input, I’m really just there to make their opinions look good. Their egos are really important so I have to make sure I help them inflate them by being quirky and stupid. When I do say something they all roll their eyes because I’m so damn cute, not in the sexual sense but in the simple sense. When I get angry and voice my opinions I’m so funny and primitive in their big brains. They think the things that are important to me are superficial. Feminism? Overrated. Fashion? Superficial. Politics? I’m too naive.
I guess maybe it’s my school, the fact that I walk and talk a little differently makes me stupid in their eyes. I’m tired of being stupid, I’m tired of being quirky, and I’m tired of being confused.
I’m not asking for attention
I am not an angry girl.
National Geographic september 1961
lmfaoooo omg look http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QmliQehOY0c
Amy Wesson photographed by Mark Borthwick for Self Service N°4
Tilda Swinton for Chanel Paris-Edinburgh 2013 by Karl Lagerfeld
Jordan Tiberio. Kingston, NY. May 2013
this isn’t too far from where i live